


He's Leaving Home

by BehindTheRobinsMask



Series: Knowing you, loving you [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Alpha Jason Todd, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Dick Grayson is Batman, Difficult Decisions, Heavy Angst, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, M/M, Omega Dick Grayson, Parental Dick Grayson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:27:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26364943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BehindTheRobinsMask/pseuds/BehindTheRobinsMask
Summary: Dick steps into the night as Batman and Jason learns to cope with the many changes in his life.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Series: Knowing you, loving you [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1908331
Comments: 10
Kudos: 137





	He's Leaving Home

**Author's Note:**

> Song: Compulsive bomber by Yorushika

Feeling the weight of a cape on his back, Dick closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. He took in a deep breath to calm his raging heart, each beat rippling through his very being, so loud, so desperate to be heard. So desperate to remind him that he was alive. He took in a deep breath and heard the seconds pass by, each tick bringing a revelation, each tick pushing him into a corner. When the time came, like a caged animal, he would attack with no hesitation, with no fear. With nothing to lose. He took in a deep breath and let Gotham’s air settle on his tongue, reminding him that there was much left to do, reminding him that he was home. He was home but he had nowhere left to go. And that realization only strengthened his resolve.   
  


Dick opened his eyes. He fell. He flew.   
  


He brought down his wrath onto the city that had only ever taken from him. 

  
  


*******

Nursing a headache, Jason leaned back in his chair, wincing every time he so much as glanced at the computer. The bright lights just aggravated the pain, punishing him for drinking too much. Punishing him for drinking at all. Tonight was supposed to be his first night out in Gotham as Bruce’s replacement. Tonight, he was supposed to wear the cowl and step into his alpha’s shoes. The city needed to see Batman. The citizens needed to believe that he was alive and well. They needed to know that they would be protected. But unlike his father, Jason couldn’t suppress his emotions. He couldn’t pretend that he didn’t feel a thing, that the pain that burned through his whole body was nothing. Maybe this just meant he wasn’t strong. Maybe this just meant that no matter how hard he tried, he would never be Batman.   
  


If Bruce were here, he would be so disappointed. But then again, he was the one who helped Dick keep his secret. He knew and he didn’t say a word. He knew and he let Jason believe that at the end of the road, there was a happy ending for him. At the end of the road, one day, he would be reunited with his mate. They’d put aside their differences, they’d build themselves a home and then, together, they would be happy. But little did Jason know that Dick didn’t want any of that. Little did he know that Dick didn’t want him. The person he knew, the person who had loved him, that person was dead. Because even though Dick crawled his way out of his coffin to join the living, his soul didn’t come back with him.   
  


Bruce was gone. Dick was gone. Jason felt like he had no one left to turn to. Responsibilities were raining down on him and he couldn’t find a way to fix the mess he had been thrown into.   
  


Massaging his forehead, Jason wondered if it would be acceptable to ask one of the Leaguers for help tonight. Considering the headspace he was in, it was best if he didn’t go out. If he did, he was sure that he would make things worse than they already were. And it was then that he got the alert.   
  


_ “Nightwing, there have been sightings of Batman throughout the city. Please tell me that’s one of you boys,”  _ Oracle said and Jason felt himself turn pale.   
  


He immediately pulled himself together to check different security cameras, hoping to find this Batman that Barbara was speaking of. But each time he would only catch a glimpse of the masked crusader. Whoever it was, they seemed to know which cameras to avoid and how to avoid them. They knew exactly how the surveillance in the cave worked.   
  


“I don’t… I don’t know who that is,” Jason finally admitted as he checked up on Tim to see where he was.   
  


But according to the GPS tracker that Bruce had implanted on everyone in the family, Tim was nowhere near Gotham city. This meant…  _ No. It couldn’t be.  
  
_

As he searched for more answers, finally, he received a video from Barbara, one that had recorded a fight on the ports. This man, the one who paraded around as Batman was shorter than Bruce, body small but lithe, moving with grace but using brute force. His every step was calculated, even the slightest flick of his hand was made to turn the battle in his favour. And while he fought with his fists, his legs, making use of his entire body, on his hips were holsters that held two guns, ones that he only took out to knock out nearby targets. Non-lethal rounds.   
  


“Dick…” Jason whispered, unable to believe his own eyes.  
  


There was a time when Jason had asked Dick if he would ever want to be Batman. This was before everything went to hell, before he ran away from home, before he died, before he became the person he was today. There was a lot of animosity between Bruce and Dick even back then, both of them constantly fighting over everything and anything, the real reason behind the anger left unspoken. No one really knew why their relationship had suddenly reached its limit. No one knew why they could barely stand being around one another. So when Jason asked Dick how he felt about Batman, he expected rejection. But what he got was something unexpected.   
  


_ “Someday, even if Bruce thinks I’m not worthy, I want to be Batman. I want to stand in his shoes and show him the true meaning of the symbol he holds,”  _ Dick had answered, his eyes alight with confidence.  _ “Because Batman is more than what Bruce wants him to be.”  
  
_

At that moment, when Dick gave his answer, Jason didn’t understand why there was a feeling of dread settling in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t understand why he felt like something back was going to happen. He was young. He was naive. He shook his head, held Dick’s head and whispered words of encouragement, knowing that one day, he could make his dreams come true. Maybe if he had tried harder to understand Dick, maybe if he had actually tried to know the reason behind his falling out with Bruce, Jason could have stopped him from dying. He could have saved Dick from himself.   
  


Now, here Dick was, having made his dream come true. He wore Batman’s colours, he wore Batman’s cowl but he wasn’t Bruce. And he didn’t pretend to be him either.   
  


_ “Jason,”  _ Oracle whispered again, her voice so full of pity.  _ “Robin has joined the fight.”  
  
_

It all made sense now.   
  


Even though the shocking news he had received shook him to his very core, Jason couldn’t help but wonder why Dick would finally reveal his secret. All these years, he had never said a word, playing the game, leading the chase, he pretended as though the only thing standing between them was Bruce. And then suddenly, Dick was letting Jason go, without an explanation, without a chance to even make sense of his own thoughts. He had let Jason go and flown out of his reach, the last connection between them disappearing. In the end, Dick had just made a calculated decision. He knew Jason inside and out, knew him enough to know how he’d react and how he’d cope. He had used their relationship like a weapon, a brutal but smart tactic, something that Bruce would do and something Jason never could.  
  


And that in itself was the biggest difference between them. While Jason held onto the people he loved, willing to go far as he could for them, Dick had sacrificed everything for his cause. He had subjected himself to a life of loneliness, something that even Bruce couldn’t do, all for his cause.   
  


Today he walked through the streets as Batman and with every step he took, Jason felt him get further and further away from his reach. 

*******

Tonight, for the first time in forever, Dick felt alive, adrenaline thrumming through his veins as he flew across Gotham, the police sirens a faded accompaniment to his laughter that seemed to echo throughout the city. Tonight, for the first time in forever, he felt like he could fly as his cape fluttered with the wind, a feeling he had lost with his parents, a feeling that was finally seeping into his very being, bringing him back to a time when everything was so simple, a time when all he ever had to do was close his eyes and fall, knowing that he would be carried the rest of the way. While Bruce would never let any harm come to his partners, he was never a trustworthy partner. At least not for Dick because he knew that if he made the slightest mistake, Bruce would let him go, let him fall, tumbling through the clouds without a safety net to land on.   
  


But now when Dick flew, he had Damian by his side, his partner, his pup. His Robin. They had a bond, one that could not be changed or broken by anyone or anything, parents or packs that kept them separated. Years ago, they had made a promise to one another, a promise that no matter what happened, no matter where life led them, one day, they would find their way back to one another. They would return to the days they spend on Nanda Parbat, fighting together, watching out for each other and when Damian arrived, ready to aid Dick in battle, he knew that the time to fulfil that promise had arrived.   
  


“Batman,” Damian called out, his curt tone catching Dick’s attention. “Are we done for tonight?”  
  


“For now, yes my little Robin. Tonight was just the beginning. The… opening act to a lifelong concert,” Dick answered, leading the pup towards his safe house. “Tomorrow we begin the real work.”  
  


“And you already have things planned out I believe,” Damian said, seemingly satisfied with the answer he had received. Before his pup was always raving for a fight, ready to throw up his fists and prove a point. But as he had grown older, he had calmed down, thinking more logically and Dick was so very proud of him for that.   
  


Dick grinned, “You know it.”  
  


After that, they flew in silence, not needing words to fill up any awkward voids. The two of them had always been in sync with each other, actions enough to convey what they were thinking. And it was only in moments like these, where he wasn’t high up in the sky or on the ground, stuck in a temporary limbo, that Dick could finally think, remember things that he would rather bury deep inside of himself. As he exhaled softly, the first word his mind screamed was Jason’s name, memories of his face the last time they met breaking through the dam. Dick had broken his heart, there was no changing that, no fixing it. All these years, he had watched his mate from afar, watched him with equal measures of longing and hate because Jason was everything he wanted but he also represented everything Dick refused to be. All the aspects of himself that he refused to accept.   
  


While betas had the privilege to lead relatively normal lives, never bothered by things like heats and ruts, overwhelming scents or instincts they couldn’t deny, the same could not be said for alphas and omegas. There was no logic when it came to their wolves, no reasoning, no compromise. They had demands that had to be fulfilled, demands that had divided people and shoved them into boxes, their secondary gender deciding their limitation instead of they themselves. Alphas were leaders. Omegas were homemakers. There was no going around that because that was what their wolves demanded, one to dominate, one to submit. While over the years, there had been a lot of progress, giving both alphas and omegas a chance to live their lives as they wished, those inane instincts they were born with, they would simply not go away. Their existence was a curse but Dick wasn’t one to give in so easily.  
  


Maybe there was a time when he had accepted his role in society without much of a fight. Whenever Jason looked at him, whenever they talked about their future, the idea of having pups, of giving his alpha a loving home, it didn’t bother him. But then again, at that time, Dick didn’t know any better. There was a whole world out there with ideas that could change him forever. Ideas that did change him forever. While his awakening into reality was cruel and painful, it was necessary for him to see people for what they really were. For him to see who he really was.   
  


If he was brought up to believe that being a domesticated omega was a necessity, now he knew it was a choice. His choice. And he wouldn’t give that up for anyone.   
  


“Are you staying tonight?” Dick asked as he stepped into his safe house, Damian following close behind. “Or do you need to rush back to the manor?”  
  


“I wish to stay,” Damian answered, taking off his mask. “The manor feels… empty. Before, at least, I knew there were people there I could return to. But now, that house is a graveyard and if I have the option to avoid it, I will.”  
  


Taking off his cowl, Dick held out his arm and without even asking, his pup was holding onto him tight. While they only ever had each other when they were at Nanda Parbat, Damian was still a child and living with Bruce had changed his life, changed him. There was nothing wrong with that. It was the same with Dick. Hating Bruce was never a choice but loving him wasn’t one either. His adoptive father, his alpha was a complicated man, one who was scarred by his own share of trauma, pushed by his own desires and dreams. Dick just didn’t know how to forgive him for some of the things he had done. And now, none of that really mattered.   
  


Bruce was gone and he was never coming back.   
  


“I think I have some spare clothes for you. Go take a shower. I’ll lay them,” Dick said as he pulled away from Damian. “You’re stinky.”  
  


“I most certainly am not, Grayson!” Damian fumed before stomping off to the washroom, discarding his uniform and amour on the way.   
  


Giggling at the pup’s reaction, Dick picked up after him, put away his uniform and laid out clothes for him to wear once he was done. All things he was used to doing on Nanda Parbat. The only thing he didn’t put away was Damian’s cape, knowing that his pup probably had a spare back at the manor. Instead of leaving it with the rest of the suit, he took it to his room and stared at the mess of blankets and clothes on his bed. With his heat right around the corner, his instincts demanded that he start working on his nest and Damian’s robin cape would be just the addition he needed.   
  


While Dick had gotten his tubes tied to ensure he could never have children, heats were still something he would have to deal with. There was just no getting around that. Which is why, because of his current lifestyle, he needed to take all the necessary precautions and measures to ensure that during the one week his omega took over, there would be no mistakes made. Then again, he never really had to worry about alphas during his heat anymore. Ever since he had gone through with his decision, his relationship with his wolf had basically become non-existence, the distance between them so vast that on some fronts, it was almost worrisome. There was a delicate balance between a person and their wolf, one that had to be maintained at all costs which is why it was so hard for alphas and omegas to deny their desires, to deny their instincts. But Dick had done exactly, taken from his wolf something he needed, denied him a dream. Now that the balance had been disrupted, every time Dick went into heat, he scent would turn sour and repulsive to all alphas, except his mate. To Jason, he would still be desirable but to others, he would be broken and Dick was completely okay with that as long as it kept people at a distance from him.   
  


The fact that his wolf was upset, so distant, it bothered Dick a lot and sometimes took a toll on him as well. Most of the time, it would affect his emotions, doubling the pain, the sadness that he felt. But these were all things that he could manage.   
  


Dick had just finished adjusting the cape into his nest when the door opened. Holding onto a pillow, dressed in his pyjamas stood Damian.  
  


“ _ Umi _ ,” he called out. “Can I sleep here tonight?”  
  


Smiling at his pup, Dick nodded, “Of course.”  
  


While on most days, he stayed up through the night, battling with his wolf, battling with himself, tonight, Dick knew he could finally sleep peacefully. Damian’s presence would calm down his wolf, if only temporarily. But that would be enough for now. 

*******

Jason was an angry person. Living in Crime Alley was bound to do that to a person but he liked to believe that over the years, he had learned to reign in his fury. He had learned to channel it into more productive avenues. Of course, that didn’t always work out and sometimes, his emotions got the best of him. But Jason was human. He was allowed to make mistakes. He was allowed to feel miserable. And right now, he was so damn miserable. Piece by piece his life was falling apart and he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to make everything fit anymore. After seeing Dick as batman, he could feel himself spiral, his emotions running out of control as he made a mess of his room. This time, even his beloved books didn’t come out unscathed. Thankfully, Alfred didn’t say a word and instead, helped Jason clean up. The butler knew he was suffering. They were all suffering.   
  


After his break down the night before, Jason was sure that he had let all his anger out, that he had vented as much as he could. But then, Damian walked through the doors, his brother, his robin.  _ A traitor.  _ And there it was again, the shades of red leaking into his world, forcing him to raise his voice.  
  


“Where the fuck have you been?!” Jason demanded, thundering down the stairs to talk to the pup. “You might not accept it but after Bruce, I am your legal guardian and since you’re just a brat, you need to tell me where you are and you need to come back home.”  
  


There was no need for Jason to ask Damian where he was. The answer obvious, Dick’s scent still lingering around the pup. If Jason’s ego wasn’t an issue, he would have cried.  
  


“Your fight is with Grayson, Todd. Do not drag me into your issues,” Damian sighed, his response so strange. After all, when met with anger, Damian would respond with anger.   
  


Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jason grit his teeth, “You just left without a word. I was worried about you Damian!”  
  


“But you had no need to be. You knew exactly where I was and who I was with,” Damian countered. “You were probably watching all the footage that Oracle sent you so must we really pretend that you are angry because you were worried or can we be honest? You are angry because I chose Grayson as my Batman instead of you.”  
  


Jason felt himself falter as Damian said those words, a young boy seeing right through him. Was he that transparent? That much of an open book to the people around him? Or had Damian simply expected this to happen?  
  


“I thought… I thought you trusted me, that the two of us were getting somewhere,” Jason confessed, shoulders slumping.   
  


Since Damian had come to Gotham, Jason had been the one who had looked after him, the one who had accepted him even when Bruce could not. He always thought they had a special bond but now, he was questioning that.   
  


“My decision to go to Grayson has nothing to do with how I feel about you,” Damian answered, his face so controlled that Jason wondered how many times he had practised these words. “I trust you. But I simply trust Grayson more.”  
  


“He’s… Damian, just because he’s nice to you doesn’t mean what he’s doing is right,” Jason sighed, not knowing how to get through to the younger. “Whatever Dick is planning, it’s going to backfire because Batman can never kill. Dick… he will. He’ll--”  
  


“Enough!” Damian snapped, his nonchalance fading away. “You know nothing about Grayson. Maybe you were close in the past but ever since his return to Gotham, all you have done is judge him. You never tried to understand him, never tried to know him. All you have ever done is compare him to the person he used to be. Are you really surprised that he chose to leave you?”  
  


“I--” Jason inhaled sharply, fists clenched. “You know nothing about me and Dick. Nothing about our relationship.”  
  


“I know enough,” Damien interjected. “And I know that you’re falling apart because he made a choice about his body, one that he is in his right to make. Maybe instead of mourning the loss of dreams, speak to him. See things from his point of view. And if you cannot do that, let it go. Because this is the last time I will speak to you about Grayson. It is not my job to fix your relationships. You are older than, are you not?”   
  


With that, the younger was walking away, without looking even once, leaving Jason to fester over words that he never thought he’d hear from the pup or anyone ever. Over the years, since Dick’s resurrection, Jason had tried to understand him. He had tried to talk to him but all their conversations ended in fights, screaming matches that had them both pushing each other away. He wanted Dick to come back. He wanted the relationship they once used to have to come back.  
  


_ All you have ever done is compare him to the person he used to be.  
  
_

It was never Jason’s intention to make comparisons but after losing Dick, after hearing that his mate had died, his mind automatically wished for the old days to come back. Back then, everything was easier. Back then, they were still innocent enough to believe in happy endings. And even though the world was a hellhole, Jason had always thought that Dick would always be his little piece of innocence. How was he supposed to react when everything he had ever known turned out to be wrong?

  
Settling into a chair, with his whole body feeling weak, Jason just closed his eyes, making one wish after another, knowing that they could never come true. But maybe, instead of changing the past, all this time he should have been focused on fixing the present, of making amends instead of praying for things long gone. Whether it be with age or because of experiences, people were bound to change. Jason knew that but he was so desperately wanted Dick to be his safe haven that seeing him turn into someone who he couldn’t understand was just jarring.   
  


“I have to talk to him, don’t I?” Jason asked, knowing well that Alfred had been listening this whole time.   
  


“Master Dick is certainly a complicated person but the only people who can fix this relationship are you and him,” Alfred said, stepping out of the kitchen.   
  


“This fucking sucks,” Jason muttered, covering his face.   
  


“It indeed does, Master Jason,” Alfred agreed. “It indeed does suck.”   
  


Talking would not be easy because talking meant being honest and Dick Grayson had a hard time doing that. But nonetheless, Jason would try because he had never been good at letting go. 

**Author's Note:**

> Next time: Dick and Jason talk. Tim comes home. Shenanigans.


End file.
